We’ve all been victims to it at one time or another – we go decide on something and immediately acting on it we think, “what in the world was I thinking!?” Even after coming into a similar situation, the same choice is made with the same consequence. Why do we do this to ourselves. Had we not learned our lesson the first time this happened? Do we like to feel disappointed? Are we not thinking with our hearts? Ah, there’s the problem – the heart. Such a deceitful and complicated thing. Some times it seems as our hearts are torn between the two choices, other times it seems as if the heart pleads with the brain to give the other choice a second chance – maybe this time will be different. However, the brain seems to always know it made the wrong decision immediately afterwards – or is it the other way around.
There lies the other problem – who is who in the decision making process? Sometimes I think I have more than one heart; other times I wish I was a cold hearted person that didn’t care. The reality is that I care too much and think we are all fundamentally good people. I don’t like disappointing people, but I find myself disappointing too many people – and all too frequently. Funny thing is that I do it while trying to appease everyone. What about pleasing Oscar?
Entries tagged as ‘Love’
Lessons Not Learned
April 22, 2007 · 3 Comments
Categories: Life · Observations
Tagged: Choices, Disappointments, family, Friends, Love, Observations
Disappointments
September 2, 2006 · Leave a Comment
I shouldn’t be surprised it happened again. I just didn’t expect it from this person. She seemed different. It’s funny that all day I had a feeling deep inside that this would happen, which is why I tried not to look forward to it so much. Still, can’t help but to feel so forgotten, deceived and unwanted. Would it really hurt so much to just call and say, “Hey, sorry can’t make it today.”? I guess it was too much to ask for. Oh well, like a clock, I must keep moving forward and hope for the best next time.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: Disappointments, Love
Summer is coming to an end …
August 23, 2006 · Leave a Comment
The last few days of worry-free days are coming to an end soon. Classes begin on thursday and I’m not looking forward to them. It certainly isn’t that the classes are going to be boring or anything of the sort; completely the opposite. However, all this summer I’ve only had the last 5 days for myself. I’ve been actually relaxing by not thinking about class or work. It’s been GREAT! Five days just doesn’t seem enough, especially with all that has happened this short year. I reflected somewhat today about the words “live life to the fullest”. What does that phrase really mean? Have I lived life to it’s fullest lately? I think so. At least I believe I have made the most of what has been giving to me and have tried my best to recognize opportunities when they come around. The one area I have never really been good at is love. I don’t mean love for friends or family. I mean as in relationships. It’s hard for me to show my true feelings for another. I can’t help it, it’s something I need a LOT of help in. I’ve been lied to, manipulated and toyed with before; so my guard is completely up and then some most of the time. I know that a lot of people have gone through more than I have in that department and are much better off than me. I just don’t know where the true root of my problem lies in. Who knows, maybe that special someone will warm my heart and break those bad habits once and for all. Summer is coming to an end, but a new begining is just about to start.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: Love, Rants, Reflections, School
